The Basic Human Need for Connection. Understanding the Science Behind Human Social Bonds

We humans are fundamentally social creatures, driven by an inbuilt need to connect with others. This need for connection is not just a psychological preference but is part of our biology and evolutionary history.  You might think in today's digital world this has diminished, but I want to  share with you the scientific basis behind our basic need to be part of a group, the profound impact of community, and how, in the age of social media, in-person interactions with all their layers remain irreplaceable and hopefully inspire you to engage in person in a business environment.

Evolution.  It's in our genes

If you think about it, from an evolutionary standpoint, being part of a group has been crucial for human survival. Early humans who formed strong social bonds were more likely to survive and reproduce, as groups could better defend against predators, share resources, and care for each other. This need for group belonging is now part of our genetic code. 

According to Dr. John Cacioppo, a pioneer in the study of social neuroscience, our ancestors who were more adept at forming social bonds had better survival rates, which has led to a hardwired need for connection in modern humans.

Thank back to the plains in Africa - who would you save against a marauding sabre tooth tiger - your friends from the same tribe or a random human who happens to be close by?  Fast forward to today and who would you most likely engage and do business with - a stranger or someone you know, like and trust?

The Biological basis 

Our bodies respond to social connections in ways that emphasise their importance. The 'social brain hypothesis' suggests that the human brain has evolved to navigate complex social environments. When we form social connections, our brain releases oxytocin, often referred to as the "cuddle hormone" or as I like to call it “the love drug” which enhances our feelings of trust and bonding. Furthermore, research published in the journal "Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews" shows that positive social interactions can reduce stress levels and improve mental health, highlighting the biological benefits of connectivity.

You don’t need to delve into the science to understand this.  We feel this every time we are with loved ones and friends which is why we celebrate in groups and why we laugh, smile and feel good around those people.

Think back to the big pause(s) in 2020/21/22.  I live in Melbourne and we were locked down for an extremely long time and what was the first thing we all did when the lockdowns were lifted?  Met in parks in the largest groups we were allowed to and then as restrictions eased even further headed into the pubs, the bars and the restaurants.   This to me is social proof that human beings crave connection.

The Power of Community

Communities play a pivotal role in fulfilling our need for connection. They provide a sense of belonging, identity, and support.  I liken these two modern day tribes.   we simply can't help ourselves we form community wherever we gather together

Studies, such as the Sense of Community Index (SCI), have demonstrated the positive correlation between community involvement and psychological well-being. Communities foster shared experiences and goals, creating a rich tapestry of interpersonal connections that nurture the individual's sense of purpose and belonging.

The Era of Social Media - no more connection?

While social media platforms have revolutionised the way we connect, allowing for instantaneous communication across the globe, they come with limitations. The digital medium often strips away the nuances of human interaction, such as body language, tone of voice, and physical touch, which are essential for forming deep, meaningful connections. 

Research in the "Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology" links excessive social media use with feelings of loneliness and depression, suggesting that digital connections cannot fully satisfy our intrinsic need for social bonds.

I myself have witnessed my own family members born in the 2000s find isolation amongst the sea of friends on social media. I see many young people today join BNI and have very little social skills and they often reach out to me and ask how to make meaningful connections in groups. This has become so prevalent in the last few years and it is not just limited to young people. I find myself guilty of using text messages and non-human ways to connect and often have to push myself to pick up the phone even though I know an in person conversation is always better than  a random one.

The Unparalleled Value of In-Person Networking

So I have made a business out of in-person networking.   you may argue that somehow I have a Barrow to push.   but hopefully you can see the evidence is clear whereas humans need to connect in person.

I know n-person interactions hold a unique power. They enable real-time feedback, deeper understanding through non-verbal cues, and the formation of stronger, more meaningful relationships. Networking groups provide a structured environment for these interactions, fostering professional growth, mutual support, and opportunities for collaboration. By bringing together individuals with diverse skills and perspectives, in-person networking groups leverage the collective power of community to achieve common goals.

The Future of Connection

As we navigate the complexities of the digital age (and it IS complex and it's NOT going away), it becomes increasingly important to cultivate spaces for in-person interactions. The science of connection teaches us that while technology can supplement our social needs to a certain extent, it cannot replace the depth and richness of face-to-face connections. In-person networking groups represent a powerful tool for harnessing the benefits of community, demonstrating that despite the advancements in communication technology, the fundamental human need for connection remains unchanged.

The science behind our need for social connections is clear: from evolutionary advantages to biological benefits, our well-being is deeply intertwined with our relationships. As we continue to evolve in a digital world, the power of community and the irreplaceable value of in-person interactions stand out as essential elements of human happiness and success. By fostering these connections, especially through networking groups, we tap into one of our most basic and profound needs as social beings. In doing so, we not only enrich our own lives but also contribute to the strength and vibrancy of the communities we are part of.

So I invite you to reach out in your local community and explore ways in which you can connect in person.  I have free resources that can help with your communication skills and Google, Meetup, Eventbrite and Linkedin are great resources to find what's going on around you.